In her debut memoir, transgender influencer, actor, and author Rose memorializes events and details during a particularly difficult decade of discovery and desire. Writing with flair and panache, she effortlessly escorts readers across frenetic pages of Grindr app conversation extracts, text exchanges, thoughts about identity (“when does my gender stop being a “gotcha!!!”), and the obsessively portrayed, PTSD-inducive trajectory of her relationship with ex-boyfriend Finnegan. Rose isn’t shy about sex, either, as she presents an exhaustively detailed series of (numbered) sex hookups, some followed by post-sex crying jags, and all grounded with confessions about intimacy, connection, and “the distance between how I want to be cared for and what’s actually happening.” There are numerous themed lists, which are alternately entertaining and illuminating. Not all is lightheartedly frank, frenzied, or superficially queer, however: Most of Rose’s prose is poetic, heartfelt, and explicitly unfettered, particularly when describing the rape ordeal that forever changed her worldview and social outlook. Also heart-wrenching are episodes of caregiving for her wheelchair-bound grandfather, who suffers from Alzheimer’s disease and dementia. Rose lays bare the traumas that haunt her, yet she remains upbeat and proactive, leaving room for future joy and unexpected connection. Frank musings on sexual desire, gender identity, and emotional fulfillment saturate these chapters, which won’t appeal to every reader; an example is her detailed playbook on her own “funeral pregame”—a self-hosted life celebration preceding a medically assisted suicide, should she ever be diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. The book can feel disjointed, but taken as a whole, it’s a moving account of pain and personal growth.